It All Has Three Phases

Sitting one evening in my luxury apartment in contentment and at peace with the unsettled world, the fire detector alarm went off. No fire, the battery had gone. It is supposed to last ten years but lasted only three. So to avoid the risk of becoming toast, the next day went to our local Mr. Bricolage (hardware store) to buy a replacement. Checked with the girl at the cash desk I had bought the right one, she unpacked it and confirmed it had the same diameter. No need to replace the base plate just screw in the new cover unit.

Problem, it didn’t fit. No worries, just unscrew the old base plate and refit with the new one. Couldn’t find the screw heads for the original base plate, it was glued to the ceiling. If I prised it off with a screwdriver half the plaster on the ceiling would come off with it. Back to Mr. Bricolage to be told items above €15 can only be reimbursed by a credit note. No alternative but to go online to Mr. Darty. Found the website but then another website came on super imposed above it. It had the exact model and product code I was looking for. I ordered it but when I had finished Mr. Darty was lying hidden underneath. I couldn’t have completed the purchase properly, so I did it again. Mr. Darty duly confirmed everything was alright. The replacement alarm was delivered, and it fitted. A few days later another exact same model arrived.

Three purchases; one credit note, one functioning alarm and a spare hopefully this time in ten years.

Sat at my computer I thought I had better run through that global marketing plan that my US literary agent had sent me. It proved to be flawed so spent the day working through a three-phased marketing and distribution plan. Phase one, consolidation and monitoring of initial outcomes. Split the rest of the plan into two equal parts monitoring the level of success for the second phase and before committing to the third phase, making minor adjustment if required.

Three phases of six months each establishing a firm marketing plan platform for sustained growth beyond.

There are only three regions in France you can take your summer holidays, the northwest, southwest and south. It has been like that for decades but this year it is different. First there is a war in Iran, the Strait of Hormuz is blocked so a danger of running out of jet fuel in May. Under Newton’s Law it states for every action there is a reaction. Going anywhere in our coastal village or trying to get into a restaurant on a sunny day the  places are packed out, and you have to park much further away and walk.

It started at Easter but never as before didn’t calm down. Normally in the summer months we first see the raiding parties denoted by the appearance of camper vans, many with several cycles chained to the back. No raiding parties this time, it is the Normandy landings all over again, they are coming in swarms rather than scouting groups. When you do the weekly shop at the supermarket you wander around in March and wonder whether they have dimmed the lighting power when  as you queue at the checkout the light grows darker. Then you realise you are surrounded by aliens. No matter whether they are adults or teenagers they are all taller than you blocking the lighting from above, the Dutch have arrived.

Again, three regions, three phased marketing plans and three changes in the summer; no jet fuel, camper vans and the Dutch.

QED